It’s always nice to find moments where people in your life show that they will be there if they can. Like when you decide on a last minute trip to Denver for the sake of just getting away. People involved quickly finding ways to meet in Denver and then drive back to the east coast in a rental. Like something out of a bad movie only there isn’t a plot that involves us smuggling weed. Early flight out of Philly booked and ready to go so now we wait. No way I’ll be sleeping the night before at all when I can sleep on the plane!
Just kidding- fell asleep on the way to the airport in the front seat of my uncle’s truck. I can’t help it though with how calming the rain is. Props to my uncle for driving through what seemed like a downpour at times. The pelting rain on the windshield with the soothing sensation that comes with being a passenger made me pass out like an infant. Unfortunately, when I have to be the one driving, I still get way too sleepy behind the wheel in these conditions. More props to my uncle since the rain almost made us completely miss flights. Quick goodbyes and good lucks as people split to catch their flight or drive home. Next agenda? Rush through check-in and security as fast as possible because this is getting close. Make it to the gate and holy shit they were literally closing it as we got there. We made it though so time to chill out and catch some sleep as I time travel to Denver.
Sitting in Denver’s airport about to kick start a weekend-long trip. I can already feel that I won’t be in Denver long enough. Honestly, there wasn’t nearly enough time to do anything with the time we had. We will be driving from Denver to Austin, TX immediately so we have a chance to spend some actual time with family. This would be a fun and carefree trip if it wasn’t for the one nagging thought. Do I actually get chemo when I get back? I’d feel more confident about this diet if I could use other alternative methods of medicine. Disheartening is really the only emotion I can come to in this moment. Knowing there are other options but the consequences of getting said medicine could be terrible. Risk smuggling across state lines, fraud my state residency or actually move to another state. I have to believe in having good friends with me will bring clarity to my mind. Nobody can make this choice for me. This is my decision alone that I have to somehow come to. All I can think about right now is living somewhere else.
Being somewhere else…
Away from the crumbling world in Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, this would hurt so many people’s hearts. Should that matter though with how much I think about it?